CRAFT-SPIRATION - AND LIFE

So one night this past week I had a little hiccup in my sleep pattern.  Truth....I couldn't sleep.  Too much going on up in the old noggin.  I hadn't broke out my sewing machine since I had moved back to Missouri.  Wasn't sure if I could even remember how to get it set up.  Thankfully my instruction book is dumbed down. And I did end up remembering some.  So I set that baby up.

I have all this material that I have been going to do projects with, but just haven't gotten to it.  With my brain running wild about life and how short it is and how you may not really know what is going on in some old friend's life but you just assume they are out there living the dream and then you turn around one day and find out they have been battling some tough life situations with tumors and brain surgeries and in the end have lost a battle with brain cancer at the way too young age of 32 and leaving behind a young beautiful daughter. It just broke my heart to hear this news and I couldn't get it out of my head or let it go.

I tend to do this.  When my brain can't let something go and it just swirls and swirls around in my head I find comfort in either hardcore deep cleaning or a really focused craft project.  It relaxes me and my brain can sort out all the emotions I got running all around me.  Some people drink.  Some people exercise.  I clean or craft. So my brain not settling down I started cutting up material and just letting my brain run wild why I sewed, sewed, sewed.

Two hours later I ended up with this imperfect.......or Far From Perfect but super cute pillow.

Exhausted I left my mess all over the table and feeling like I had done something creative for that day.  I let my head hit the pillow, said a little prayer, and fell asleep.

Peace, Love, Hugs

QUOTE ME

"I will never be satisfied. Life is one constant search for the betterment for me."
- Jayne Mansfield

BEAUTIFUL LIFE BEAUTIFUL DEATH

I witness something this week. That was beautiful and sad. I witness a family sit around their mother and mother-in-law on her death bed. I know it may sound weird or warped to some. But watching this family sit with this woman in her last days and hours and minutes was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

She had lived a long life and it was her time to go and her family was there with her until the end.

I felt sadness and heartache but I knew in my heart that this woman had lived a long life. A life that a lot of part I would know nothing about. A childhood long gone and probably beautiful and from her age probably hard. A life of children and grand children and maybe great grandchildren. A life that although only a tiny bit I got to be a part of over the past 3 months. I spoke to her, touched her, and watched her change from here to almost there.

It made me think if I had the choice. If I could choose between dying suddenly and dying peacefully in a bed with my family sitting around....what would I choose?

I decided today if I got to choose I would choose the ladder. I was sadden to see her go, but I know in my heart she is with all those that went before and she is with her King. I know in my heart she lived a long life and it was just her time to go to her Lord.

I shed tears for a woman I have only known for three months and for the heartache I knew her family was going through. I was right outside her door when she took her last breath. And I felt sadness and peace all at once. I went outside to take a breath, have a smoke, and get away....and I felt the breeze on my face and appreciated it....more. I couldn't wait to get home to spend the evening with my family. I sat in my driveway and watched my kids play. I watched my 3 year old practice riding his bike without training wheels.

It reminded me of the movie Steal Magnolias when the mother says "life goes on" cause it does. Even though that family is in sadness tonight the world around them goes on and eventually they will jump back into it.

Because through all the losses that I have experienced, even the ones I felt I wouldn't get through.......eventually one day I was myself again. And I know eventually this family will be their self again.

My heart and prayers goes out to Ms. *****'s family and I hope to meet you again in heaven someday Ms. *****. Rest in Peace.