How to Lose Your Yoga Teaching Job in 1 (or 10) Tweet(s):
1.‘When I say mula bandha, I MEAN the boom-boom area, the goods, the bizness. Crotches, tally ho!’
2.‘Mofo, I got bills to pay. Get your cheap ass back over to that donation bowl and show mama some love!’
3.‘Crunchy Swingers Party at my house after today’s class! Woo!’
4.‘I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly. Take your beginner booty out of here and back to Level 1. F’ing noob.’
5.‘That rule about not banging your students? Heh. Just a guideline. #bootytapasana’
6.‘My favorite adjustments to give: tweaking groins and making mula bandhas moo. Awww yeah.’
7.‘Only BABIES take child’s pose. Next class, I start handing out diapers!’
8.‘Hey Cirque Du Freak, this ain’t Cirque Du Soleil. Damn showoff. #posesicantdo’
9.‘If ONE more person complains about a pulled hammy or urinary incontinence, I’m gonna break some legs. #yogawussies’
10.‘You are ripe with the stench of rotting corpses, you flagrant flesh eater!’
Do I have one to add?
“Farting in yoga is 7 years bad luck.”
“Walk your feet to the front of the mat into a forward fold. Congratulations, you’ve finished the Buddhism initiation.”
#gotnuthin
SOURCE: Yoga Dork
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