WHY SO SERIOUS?

“Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.” — Tom Robbins

Sometimes stress and situation make us totally focus on the problem directly in front of us.  Like we trapped in a bubble with this problem.  It makes it hard for us to think about anything else and when left alone with our own brain we obsess about it dancing out scenarios of the outcome in our head. We just can't get rid of it.  It consumes us and blocks of from enjoying the things that are happening right in front of us. Lately I have been consumed and stuck in this bubble with my problem.  I have to remind myself to take a deep breath. Calm down.  I can't rush a resolution to the situation.  I just have to be patient. Talk myself down out of the obsession. Talk myself out of that bubble and back to the beautiful life that sits in front of me.  I know this situation will be resolved soon enough.  I know everything will work out.  Sometimes I let my mind lead and get away with itself instead of allowing my heart to just live. 

So here is to taking a deep breath today and living through my heart and living the simple beautiful life that is right in front of me.

Peace, Love, & Hugs

CRAFT-SPIRATION - AND LIFE

So one night this past week I had a little hiccup in my sleep pattern.  Truth....I couldn't sleep.  Too much going on up in the old noggin.  I hadn't broke out my sewing machine since I had moved back to Missouri.  Wasn't sure if I could even remember how to get it set up.  Thankfully my instruction book is dumbed down. And I did end up remembering some.  So I set that baby up.

I have all this material that I have been going to do projects with, but just haven't gotten to it.  With my brain running wild about life and how short it is and how you may not really know what is going on in some old friend's life but you just assume they are out there living the dream and then you turn around one day and find out they have been battling some tough life situations with tumors and brain surgeries and in the end have lost a battle with brain cancer at the way too young age of 32 and leaving behind a young beautiful daughter. It just broke my heart to hear this news and I couldn't get it out of my head or let it go.

I tend to do this.  When my brain can't let something go and it just swirls and swirls around in my head I find comfort in either hardcore deep cleaning or a really focused craft project.  It relaxes me and my brain can sort out all the emotions I got running all around me.  Some people drink.  Some people exercise.  I clean or craft. So my brain not settling down I started cutting up material and just letting my brain run wild why I sewed, sewed, sewed.

Two hours later I ended up with this imperfect.......or Far From Perfect but super cute pillow.

Exhausted I left my mess all over the table and feeling like I had done something creative for that day.  I let my head hit the pillow, said a little prayer, and fell asleep.

Peace, Love, Hugs

SPIRITUAL ENLIGHTENMENT

THE SELF IS THE SEEKER
	LIFE is the path,  LAW is the guide,  LOVE is the way,  LIGHT is the goal.  The GOAL of life is to unite  the personal self... body and mind... with the SOUL.  Purify the body by fasting, bathing, deep breathing,  sunshine, exercise and eating a natural diet.  Purify the mind by...  truthfulness, forgiveness, meditation and prayer. Unite with the SOUL by living a CHRIST like life;  and by fulfilling the natural, social and spiritual laws. Life is eternal  Here and Now  In this body  Or in another  We only choose  The SOUL creates  Our hearts desire  Forever.

TO DO/KEEP DOING LIST

• Find a Job
• Be Grateful
• Peace & Kindness with E
• Strength & Patience in Prayers
• Church
• Create
• Read
• Love, Enjoy, Play, Teach - My Boys
• Yoga, Meditation, Cardio
• Find Me
• Photography
• Travel
• Cook
• Breath
• Find My Word
• Balance
• Keep Money in Check
• Flea Market / Thrift Store
• Live Music
• Laugh, Enjoy
• Dog Named Worm
• Pray
• Love - Self, Others, Show & Share
• Join Groups - Sports - Meet New People

(This is the photo that inspired this list above)

HOMEMADE BOOK FOR DAD

The boys and I made a 13 page homemade picture book for my hubby & their daddy. They had fun decorating their own pages with their pictures.

I love the cover.  I think it is so cute & funny.

One of P-Nut's pages. He keeps it simple.

One of RePeat's pages.  He is into mixing all his paints together & he is into black.

One of the pages of both the boys.

All the pictures in the book are pictures of the boys or Monkey Man & the boys, but I did steal one page for myself.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MONKEY MAN!
Hope he loves it.

BEAUTIFUL LIFE BEAUTIFUL DEATH

I witness something this week. That was beautiful and sad. I witness a family sit around their mother and mother-in-law on her death bed. I know it may sound weird or warped to some. But watching this family sit with this woman in her last days and hours and minutes was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

She had lived a long life and it was her time to go and her family was there with her until the end.

I felt sadness and heartache but I knew in my heart that this woman had lived a long life. A life that a lot of part I would know nothing about. A childhood long gone and probably beautiful and from her age probably hard. A life of children and grand children and maybe great grandchildren. A life that although only a tiny bit I got to be a part of over the past 3 months. I spoke to her, touched her, and watched her change from here to almost there.

It made me think if I had the choice. If I could choose between dying suddenly and dying peacefully in a bed with my family sitting around....what would I choose?

I decided today if I got to choose I would choose the ladder. I was sadden to see her go, but I know in my heart she is with all those that went before and she is with her King. I know in my heart she lived a long life and it was just her time to go to her Lord.

I shed tears for a woman I have only known for three months and for the heartache I knew her family was going through. I was right outside her door when she took her last breath. And I felt sadness and peace all at once. I went outside to take a breath, have a smoke, and get away....and I felt the breeze on my face and appreciated it....more. I couldn't wait to get home to spend the evening with my family. I sat in my driveway and watched my kids play. I watched my 3 year old practice riding his bike without training wheels.

It reminded me of the movie Steal Magnolias when the mother says "life goes on" cause it does. Even though that family is in sadness tonight the world around them goes on and eventually they will jump back into it.

Because through all the losses that I have experienced, even the ones I felt I wouldn't get through.......eventually one day I was myself again. And I know eventually this family will be their self again.

My heart and prayers goes out to Ms. *****'s family and I hope to meet you again in heaven someday Ms. *****. Rest in Peace.

A NEW BEGINNING

(picture taken by Far From Perfect)
So I guess this is my some forced upon me, some done by stupid accidents and some choices time to be made. I'm not new to blogging for those of you who have happened upon this blog by accident and are seeing this as my first post. I have blogging for years and years and....yes years. But because things have been insane and stressful and mad lately I stupidly and accidently deleted my old blog. I'm so sad about it. I know it sounds dumb, but that was like my life written in there between fashion and recipes was bits and pieces of my life that I hoped my kids could read someday when I'm dead or old and senile. I am so beyond mad at myself for being so mindless for a brief moment.

But moving on I suppose........

There are many other changes coming my way. Some of them long time coming some of them active decisions that I needed and wanted to make. Some of them for the sake of privacy I don't want to talk about yet and some I'm ready to run into screaming.

One of the more happy exciting ones is my newly and improved resume that is ready to be sent out to this AWESOME job that I am totally banking on and hoping not to be let down. Right now I'm working as a Legal Assistant suppose to be part time, but as any part timer out there knows you always get guilted into pretty much working full time. But I have recently come across this amazing oppurtunity that I SO SO want and if I don't get it I will be sad. Will let you know how that goes.

Other changes going on are sad and scary and life changing and will be discussed at a later date.

Right now we are getting ready for school to start and getting ready to travel back to MO to visit the family and friends we left behind a year and a half ago.

If you are just stumbling across this blog it will be filled with what I'm reading, what I'm cooking, what music I've come across, what I'm doing, what I'm not doing, what I'm b*tching about, crafts projects I'm doing, photos I've taken, photos I've found and love, fashion I like or great finds I've found, magazine article I love, celebrity gossiping, family gossiping, my gratefulness for life, love laughter and l-i-v-i-n, and all the changes I go through along the way. I'm all over here and all over there and always changing my mind and always trying new things. I am in three words FAR FROM PERFECT.